Choices
by ensiathe3rd
Summary: We all make choices, and for better or worse, we have to live with them. Leo and Bree are no exception. As the guilt of the past and the dread of the future threaten to overtake them, in the present, they must find strength in each other if they want to move forward.


**disclaimer: I do not own Lab Rats**

**Choices**

Leo couldn't sleep. He had been tossing and turning in his bed for hours and still sleep eluded him. He had resorted to laying on his back staring at the ceiling. The problem wasn't that he wasn't tired because he was. He was exhausted. No, the problem was his over active imagination. A trait of his that most of the time added to his boyish charm wouldn't let him get his rest. Every time he closed his eyes he ran through in his head what could have happened that day should the Davenport brothers, generation one, not have succeeded.

He could have lost her. He almost lost his sister. They had close calls in the past, sure, but this felt different somehow. Whenever the danger came he found a way to help, whether it was with them on the mission (whether they knew he was coming or not) or from his mission specialist desk. There was always something he could do. Today, there was nothing for him. All he could do was stare at the tablet's screen as it showed Bree's heart rate increase to levels no human could ever survive or at his sister, pale, sweating, and exhausted, losing the fight to hold on while Big D and Douglas tried to save her.

Even after they had fixed her chip Leo stood by her. Her heart rate might have been regulating, but it progressed slowly and was still at dangerous levels for a while. He was scared something else could have gone wrong, as was the norm in their family. She attempted to joke with him but he couldn't get into it. She was way too pale, her sweat made her hair cling to her face, her breathing was labored and uneven, her brown eyes were dull and unfocused. Leo could hardly believe that that girl hanging there had been his sister.

All he could do was keep reminding himself over and over again that they had succeeded in time and that Bree would be fine. Unfortunately, Leo couldn't bring himself to believe it entirely. Maybe he was wrong, maybe her heart had ruptured (he found another word for exploded), maybe she really was gone. He wondered who would have told Adam and Chase. Big D, probably. Leo didn't think that he ever could. . What could he tell them? After all, he was the one who brought Douglass to the lab; he was the one who pressured Bree into trying the chip. If he hadn't, then Bree would have been fine. Without her bionics, sure, but at least she would have been alive. If Bree had died, it would have been his fault.

With that thought, Leo realized that he would never be able to sleep if he didn't check on her to reassure himself that she was still alive. He rose from his bed and made his way downstairs. As it turned out, Leo didn't have to go down to the lab to check up on his sister. Bree was sitting in one of the swivel chairs by the counter with her back to the stairs. She was hunched over a mug clutched in her hands staring into the liquid. However, if she was expecting any answers to appear to her in its depths, she was severely mistaken.

Now Leo was at an impasse, he was reassured that Bree was in fact alive and her recovery wasn't just a result of him in denial. His original goal had been achieved. However, now there was the choice of whether to go back to bed, or to talk to her. Leo knew that the talk would inevitably be about what had happened that afternoon and while the outcomes were good; Leo wasn't ready to talk to Bree about the "bads" and "what ifs." Leo would have been fine leaving that conversation for another time and leaving his sister with her thoughts. Except, the girl that sat alone in the dark, hunched over a mug as if it was her only tie to the waking world, and looked so defeated and lost, wasn't his sister. His sister was headstrong, and sarcastic, and lively, and clever, and funny, and the family's conscience, and so many things that just weren't the girl Leo saw in front of him.

Leo made his decision before he even realized it and found himself at the bottom of the stairs. Bree had heard him at some point and broke her gaze from the mug in front of her to turn to him. Leo was too far away to see her face in the dark so he couldn't see her reaction to seeing him. "Hey Leo, what are you doing up?" There was his sister's caring voice, but Leo couldn't find reassurance in it like he normally did. Interlaced with the caring was a tired strain that threated to break through.

Leo smiled at her, though he hoped she was just as blind as he was, because he knew there was no way she would buy it if she wasn't. He waved her off, "Aw, no reason." He walked closer to her. "Why are _you_ up?"

"Couldn't sleep, I thought I would get something to drink." Something was definitely bothering her but she and Leo seemed to be on the same page on their willingness to talk about it.

Leo was more than willing to go along with her, "Same. So," He desperately searched his brain for a topic of conversation. "What are you drinking?" Man, that was lame.

"Oh, it _was_ warm milk." Bree grabbed her mug and examined the contents. She let out a humorless laugh, "I guess it's room temperature milk now." She sat the mug back on the counter and got lost in the white liquid.

Leo felt a pang in his chest as he observed her. Her tone was too wrong, her posture; worse. He walked around and slid into the other swivel chair beside her. Now he found himself in a position that he was rarely ever in. Leo had absolutely no idea what to say. So they both sat there in relative silence waiting for the other to make the first move. Bree finally looked over at him, "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, Leo, or are we just going to sit here all night?"

Leo forced a smile to his face, "What?" Inwardly he hit himself for how his tone pitched up, "There's nothing wrong, what makes you think there's something wrong? What's wrong with you?"

She smiled softly as she raised an eyebrow at him, but she couldn't hold the expression and her face fell again. "Leo," as it was Bree's sentence died on her lips and she just sighed and looked back to her mug.

Leo hated this with a fiery passion; a part of him almost wished she was angry. Angry Bree, he could handle, at least then she would be brash, headstrong, and sarcastic to the point where he could recognize her. Sad Bree was another story all together, it wasn't his sister. It made him angry, and in his anger, he banged his hands on the counter and shouted, "I almost lost you!" He felt Bree's eyes on him, but he kept his eyes firmly locked on his hands. Leo took a deep breath, his shoulders slouched, and he continued in a whisper, "I almost lost you. Nothing Big D was doing was helping, so I thought bringing Douglas here would help, but it made things worse. I brought him here and you almost died because of it."

Leo felt a warm hand cover his. "Leo, I didn't. I'm right here, plus I have my bionics back. In the end, bringing Douglas here was our best choice. You saw that while Mr. Davenport was too blinded by hate to see it. So you made that choice. You did nothing wrong, Leo. In fact, you did good, really good." Bree smiled at him but once again it faltered as she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand.

Leo did not turn to face her, he didn't know what he had been expecting from her, but somehow her reaction didn't feel right to him. It felt like she didn't care about how close she had come to death. "You were red lining. You were so pale." He stared at the hand covering his own and even in the darkness he could make out the stark contrast between their skin tones that only served to make her look paler. He relaxed his hands and focused on the feeling of her hand on his. It was real, she was still here.

"I know, I was scared too, but it's not your fault Leo." Her hand clutched his and her voice dropped in volume, "If it's anyone's fault; it's mine. I was the one who broke my chip. That was my choice, my fault. All you did was help fix my mistake."

"I can't lose you, and with Krane…" Leo didn't want to finish that sentence, good thing he didn't have to; Bree knew what he meant. "I don't know what I would do if something happened."

There was a pause where silence spoke his opinion before Bree spoke. "I know how that feels." Leo finally looked her in the face only to find that she had turned back to her mug. "Leo, when Marcus shot you down, I thought, we all thought…" Bree took a deep shuttering breath, "In that moment, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't help you. I'm supposed to be your big sister, and I failed to protect you. And I kept thinking that if I had just believed you about Marcus, it wouldn't have happened. If I had been a better sister and trusted you, you would've been fine. Marcus might have been the one to shoot you, but I couldn't help but think I was just as responsible." Leo was struck dumb at her confession, and no matter what words he tried to form no sound would leave his lips.

"Leo, I get that it's easy to blame yourself." Another breath, Bree winced, her eyes reflecting what little light there was, and Leo finally clutched her hand back. "I didn't sleep that night, or the night after we lost Chase in that snow storm, or the night after Douglas activated our triton app, or the night Krane kidnapped you and Tasha, or tonight." Bree turned her head and finally their eyes met. In the low light, Leo saw something he could not identify in her deep brown eyes. Guilt? Sadness? Fear? Leo didn't know but he didn't like it. By her tone, she had been holding all of it inside her and it was tearing her apart. "Leo, guilt is cruel, and it will eat you up inside bit by bit until there is nothing left. Don't make the same mistake I have. Learn to let it go. What happened happened and there is nothing we can do to change that, but we can move forward. I'm not sure what will happen with Krane. I won't promise that when it is all over, we'll all be okay because I can't. I don't think anyone of us can." Tears dripped from Bree's eyes as her voice broke on the last word.

"Bree, I.." Leo couldn't form the words as he watched her turn away from him. Her grip on his hand became tighter.

"I'm scared, Leo." Bree breathed in to calm herself, "But I made my choice." Bree turned back and looked Leo dead in the eye. Leo saw them full of unshed tears, but behind that was a spark of defiance that challenged anyone who dared to defy her. That was Bree, and Leo almost laughed in relief at the sight of it, had it not been for the subject matter he might have, but in that moment it made his throat clench in horror. "I'm going to fight. That isn't anybody's decision but my own. It's _my_ choice. I may not like it, but there are more important things. I will not stand by when my family needs me. I will stand with Adam and Chase against Krane. This may be the end, but my mind's made up and nothing will change that.

"I know you're afraid of losing us, but just the same I'm afraid of losing you, or Adam, Chase Mr. Davenport, Tasha. I won't just sit around and do nothing. Whatever happens, we won't give up on each other, we'll keep fighting, and in the end we just might make it through this." She smiled gently at him through the tears pouring down her cheeks and loosened her grip on his hand slightly.

Before he could even think about his actions, Leo took his hand back from Bree. Hurt and confusion flashed in her eyes half a second before Leo hopped off his chair and wrapped his arms around her. Warm tears flooded his eyes, and Leo did nothing to stop them from pouring down his cheeks and into her hair. Bree soon hugged him back, and Leo felt her tears soak his shirt. It only made him cry more, she was one of the best friends he'd ever had and the greatest sister he could ask for. "I love you. I don't want to lose you."

"I love you too." Her voice was muffled by his shoulder, but he heard her loud and clear. Leo tightened his grip as best he could. There was nothing left that either of them could say. With the dread of the future and the guilt of the past hanging over them neither had realized how much they were hurting in the present. So in they stayed like that, in the dead of night, they held each other and tried to find solace in the embrace. They let the hurt flow from them with the tears. The past was over and done with, the future could wait, all that mattered was that moment that they shared, brother and sister, not by blood, but by choice. This was where healing started and they would both come back stronger for it. So that whatever happened tomorrow; they could face it together, for better or worse and knowing that the closer they were the more it would hurt should one lose the other. But it was their choice and they chose to love each other while there was still time to do so.

So while Leo and Bree held each other in the dark room, Leo let go of his guilt and let the joy of knowing she was safe and alive overtake him. And that was his choice.


End file.
